It's been 25 years and 1 week since my first day on my first job.

It was in a community hospital on an ortho unit that saw an equal amount of med/surg patients (cause let's face it, how many ortho patients can one small community hospital actually have). As I recall, we had 30 beds, each of which had traction bars and trapezes. The nurses had only stopped wearing caps a short while before I arrived, because they were forever being knocked off by the overhead bars.

I remember the fear as I walked through that front door all those years ago. In that moment I did not at all feel worthy of the title "nurse." The confidence and pride I had felt at graduation had all melted away. In its place was a nausea that made me think I might never eat again.

I took a deep breath, mumbled one of those "Dear God, please help!" prayers, and then repeated it over and over until I reached the nurses station. I smiled at all those new faces, that to me looked smart and confident. And that scared the crap out of me.

Can you relate to the terror? It's a palpable fear of the unknown. Not only that, it's a fear of being unqualified to face that unknown. And it really does make you want to throw up on something. Except that really lowers your chance of making a good first impression. So on you go, swallowing hard and saying hello.

To be perfectly honest, I don't remember most of the details of that first day, just the emotions.

As someone showed me around, I tried to remember how the numbers of the rooms went, where the med carts were, where the charts were kept (hard to believe, but there wasn't a computer in sight), and most importantly, where the break room and bathroom were located.

I'm sure I only remembered half of what they told me due to the cotton that seemed to fill my head that day.

The good news is, as the day progressed, I felt more and more like it might be a job I could do. Turns out I had actually learned a couple things in nursing school and the staff seemed very willing to teach me what I hadn't.

I fondly (and I totally mean that sarcastically) remember the week I was referred to as the "bowel nurse." I hadn't had any experience doing enemas, so I spent the week doing all that were needed on the floor. They also threw in a dis-impaction for good measure. Everyone seemed delighted to get me up to speed on all things G.I. related. It's a skill, I'm happy to report, I've long since lost.

It may be that my experience was better than some of you have had, but the rest of the staff was always helpful and kind. I was never afraid to ask a question of anyone--but I had my favorites. Some nurses are just better teachers than others.

There was one in particular that was just a couple years older than me and had a very fresh memory of being the new girl. She always made me feel accepted and appreciated. If you can figure out who that person can be for you, grab hold of them. It will make all the difference.

After a couple of months of orientation, I was up and running: a bona fide nurse, capable of good technique and judgment. When I moved to my final destination as a part-time night nurse, I even oriented a new hire to nights. I had become the one who knew the system. Who would have thought? Not me on the first day.

Though there is only one first day on the first job, you'll probably have several first days on some job. The bad news is you'll probably want to throw up each time. The good news is you never will. The fear of the unknown never leaves us, but as we age, so does our ability to work through it. So hang in there...And if you have a chance, share with the RealityRN community your first-day-on-the-job story! We'd love to hear it.

Related: Anxiety, Confidence, Fear, Feelings, New Nurse