The thing is, conflict is a part of life. So we all have to learn how to deal with it.  It happens at home, at work, even at our places of worship.

The older I get, the more I have come to realize that conflict doesn’t always end in a negative way.  Sometimes it can strengthen a relationship.  If it’s handled with respectful honesty, it can enlighten both sides and bring change and understanding.

Two years ago I had an opportunity to test this theory with my boss.  He had hired a new MA to help cover his expanding hours.  Unfortunately, she needed more hours than he was offering…so he gave her mine.

Needless to say, I was a little miffed.  Out of the blue I get a call from the supervisor telling me I’d be working with a different doctor on Tuesday afternoons starting the next week.  I cried for days.  I loved the doc I was working with.  I had been with him for over seven years and had known him for eight years before that.  The hurt I felt was overwhelming.

At some point, he found out I was struggling and called me.  I’m sure he was sorry he did about two minutes into the conversation.  I had gotten over my fear of conflict at let him have it.  Not in a mean, yelling sort of way–but in a “let me bear my heart to you through deep guttural sobs” kind of way.  He was speechless.

I got a beautiful floral arrangement the next day with a lovely card saying, “Wishing I’d been more thoughtful”.

I’m not saying I handled this well. But because I was willing to be honest about my feelings and willing to forgive his initial lack of them, we were able to resolve the conflict.  He apologized, I accepted.  He figured out a way to give me my hours back, I swallowed my pride, and went back to work for him.

It involved give and take on both sides.

Throughout the whole ordeal, I realized some things about myself.  I am extremely loyal.  I love feeling like I’m part of a team.  I want to feel like I matter, like I make a difference, like I’m important.  Being made to feel like I was expendable was excruciating to me.

I also realized that I would probably be a terrible business person.  He was making a good financial decision.  It costs him less to have an MA.  In order to get her, he needed to give her more hours.  It was logical for a guy who felt the need to tighten the expenditure belt.  He was not in the wrong, he just left out the part about explaining his situation to me.  If he had, since I’m loyal and a team player, I would have moved on–sad but with understanding.

It’s been two years since then.  I’m still there.  The MA has moved on and hasn’t been replaced.  My doc and I have a very good relationship.  He gets me and I get him.  He still makes me crazy now and then and I occasionally overreact to things.  Our relationship is no worse for the wear.  Maybe it’s even better.

I have lots more stories about conflict with my family, but I think I’ll keep those to myself.  I don’t always handle those with poise and grace either.  I do find that on the homefront, humor goes A LONG WAY in helping to resolve conflict.  If I can make my husband or kids laugh during a heated discussion, I know we’ll be okay.  It’s often the turning point for us.

Do you have any tricks to getting through conflict?  We’d all love to hear them.  I’ll start the list:

1)Respectful honesty

2)Humor

3)Yours????

I’m a 22 year old new grad (graduated in may 08) and work in a medical ICU. Last month after 8 months of pain and symptoms I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. I’m currently on medications to manage the symptoms and potential flare-ups but frequently have to work with pain.

I went to my rheumatologist who pretty much stated that my unit is going to run me into the ground and perhaps I should start thinking about another unit or job.

Are there any nurses with RA who can give me some tips on coping with this situation? Have you changed units or positions or were you able to manage? Did you even let your nurse manager know about your condition?

Nursing is limitless. However I’m feel like I’m between a rock and a hard place. Your help is appreciated.

Danielle

One year ago as a new nurse graduate, I have experienced some uncomfortable remarks, touching and things of that nature that has caused a lot of concern from an emergency room doctor. Since i did not respond to the remarks and did not give this person more to go on, I have experienced some hardships when working directly under this doctor.

He does things like place excessive orders, in a fashion that makes my life more difficult (ordering meds 5-10 mins apart meaning that i make multiple trips to the med room instead of just one or two). He has a bad attitude towards me and seems to do things to make me upset. i haven’t said anything to anyone thus far (being a new nurse and fearing that it could mean the end of my job or making my life miserable there) but i can’t stand by and let this happen.

What should I do?

I’ve never experienced the ramifications of such a violation personally, but I have seen the aftermath when others have been suspected.

Often the violation stems from one of man’s greatest assets: curiosity.  We’re geared for acquiring knowledge; yet some things we might be better off being unaware of completely.

Once on the unit I was working, a staff member reported their electronic identification and password as stolen. During the time it was missing, the ID and password were used to access the records of a patient staying at the hospital.

Soon, Corporate Compliance contacted the nurse manager of this staff member’s unit.  A suspected breach of confidentiality had already been reported, without even the manager or the staff member’s knowledge, or anyone else on the unit reporting it.  How? you might ask.

In this particular case audit logs allowed technical support services to track who had accessed this patient’s records.  Should the logs detect someone having accessed the information that was not directly connected to the patient (meaning a provider, nurses or assistants on that particular unit the patient is on, etc), these support staff members can re-trace the access of this record right down to the computer the user was utilizing at the time of the login to see if they truly should have been accessing it.

No reporting, no finger pointing: They simply punch a button and you’re caught!  Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy doesn’t it?

Suffice it to say, when a hospital tells you not to access records that do not pertain to your immediate patients on your unit, (even if they are someone you know, even your own child) do what they say!  If you need that information, chances are someone will contact you shortly.

But, what about all of you?  Have any of you ever had a run in with HIPAA or Corporate Compliance?

Brittany

Love her or hate her, she certainly has generated some strong comments from our readers.  The general consensus was that the TV show, which depicts the life of a nurse, is unrealistic.  Some find it offensive, some find it funny.

We could argue the rights and wrongs of this particular show for days, but here’s what I would like to know.  How would a good television drama or comedy portray a nurse?  What are accurate stereotypes of nurses? What storylines would be interesting enough to keep an audience entertained for 13 episodes a year but also be realistic?

Give us your ideas.  Maybe we could name the show Reality RN

Bryn

Jessie, RN