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Funniest Nursing Stories
Brewing Up the Solution


I passed by a patient’s room and heard, “HEY! NURSE! HELP!” Mind you, everyone was nearby, but I was the only one who stopped what I was doing and came in the room to tend to his needs. Once I was in, I saw that the patient was out of bed, about 10 feet away, his IV tubes and lines were pulling, one was already out, and he left a trail of blood on the floor. I immediately spoke loudly in my calmest and motherly voice as possible and asked, “Hey, whatcha doin’ out of bed? Where you goin’? You need to go back or you will fall.” Usually this works, but he was the size of a football player and he was already fuming mad. He yelled, “No!” Then he threw the IV pole at me. I ducked and called for help. All the rest of the nursing staff came running in. One called the doctors and another called security for back up. The security came in holding the patient back in bed, while his nurse and I tried to calm him down and fix him up. The patient turned out to be mentally confused from all the medications overtime. He would not listen to reason until he got some beer. He kept yelling, “I WANT MY BEER!!!” The hospital is against restraining as possible. Next thing I know, a security officer came back with a bottle of beer. I went back to what I was doing. I walked by this room again and looked in. At the door frame, I was witnessing this patient chugging a bottle of beer as the nurse at his bedside was putting back in his IV. I thought to myself, “Why doesn’t the nurse just tie a tourniquet around his arm and inject Heroine for him?”

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