Drug addiction? That could never happen to me!
I wish that were the truth. I’m a nurse, and I certainly never thought I was vulnerable.
Not all nurses will develop the disease of addiction. But for many nurses, addiction is real. Substance abuse in the nursing population is believed to parallel or be slightly higher than that in the general population: approximately 10%. And it very often begins with a legal prescription for a legitimate medical problem. That’s how it started for me, anyway.
A Migraine of Problems
When Stadol first came on the market (1991), it was not considered or marketed as a controlled substance, so I wasn’t concerned about my Stadol nasal spray prescription for the migraines I suffer. Two years after using Stadol as prescribed, I had major abdominal surgery. Three weeks following that surgery, I found out my abdominal wounds weren’t healing and my incision opened in four separate areas, exposing my abdominal wall.
The next two years were very difficult. In order to encourage healing of these deep wounds, I had to “heal by granulation.” I had to keep the wounds irritated, cleaning them with medicated soaps and rough gauze 2-3 times a day. My doctor prescribed Stadol nasal spray for my dressing changes; it still hurt, but the Stadol made it more tolerable.
No one knew Stadol was addictive and should be treated as a controlled substance. Stadol was usually ordered for short term pain relief in recovery rooms of hospitals, so it was considered perfect for my dressing changes. I wasn’t getting high on it. The drug just made the pain go away.
As I healed, I continued using Stadol for the dressing changes as prescribed; I’m not exactly sure when the physical pain actually ended and my fear of being in the pain began to drive my continued use.
The Drug Becomes Master
My abdominal healing took two years. During that time, Stadol slowly gained control of my life. Scientific research has found that actual chemical changes occur in the pleasure/reward area of the brain with repeated use of narcotics. This area is also responsible for human survival instincts. Pretty soon my brain was telling me: “Eat, sleep, take Stadol, drink water, take Stadol, hit the washroom, take Stadol.” I believed I truly needed it to survive.
You don’t really notice when the transition happens. However, when you haven’t taken the drug, you experience withdrawal symptoms, such as itching, diarrhea, intense muscle cramps, sweating, anxiety, or as in my case, shakes and nausea. Then you take the drug, and the pain goes away. After all, we’re taught, that’s what it’s there for, right? Nurses see instant relief—both physical and emotional--in their patients’ when pain medication is given.
Diversion Begins
When I was working in Labor and Delivery, the dose of Stadol required for our patients was half of what was available in the vial. This meant that we would have partial vials of Stadol leftover. As we rushed to clean up after a delivery, the vial(s) would end up in our pockets--and often the process of properly discarding them was overlooked.
One day after arriving home and having a headache, I found my nasal spray was empty. I had a vial of injectable Stadol in my pocket, and I wondered, If I put this in a nasal spray bottle, will it work? It didn’t. Because I’m diabetic I had syringes, and without thinking I injected myself intravenously; like many nurses, I was skilled in starting IVs.
During this time, I didn’t/couldn’t see anything wrong with taking the leftover vials from the hospital. I rationalized that I would have tossed them out otherwise, and it saved me a trip to the pharmacy.
One thing led to another. Eventually I was taking full vials home and injecting Stadol on a daily basis. When I was medicating a patient, I would often take out two bottles: one for them, and one for me. And as I later learned in treatment, my usage increased as my tolerance increased; soon I needed more and more.
Eye Opening Intervention
Desperate, I began to use a coworker’s code for the Pyxis system. The pharmacy started asking questions when they realized my coworker was signing out a lot of medication-- even when she wasn’t on duty and sometimes for patients no longer at the hospital but still in the system. Because of me, she was fully investigated; I can’t imagine how horrible that must have been for her. My drug use caused me to act and function outside my “normal” moral behavior: typical addict behavior.
Around this time I finally realized that I was really sick, that I had become addicted to Stadol. But where could I go? Who was going to help me? I felt an overwhelming amount of shame, guilt, and humiliation: I’m a nurse, I should know better. I’m supposed to be helping people.
Once I realized what was going on, I firmly believe the healthier part of my brain started making mistakes on purpose so I would get caught. During their investigation, state drug control agents installed surveillance cameras over each of the three Pyxis systems on our floor. Once they had enough evidence, I was confronted. I was physically ill when I saw the still shots from the video cameras. The day I was confronted was the worst and best day of my life; I no longer had to hide my illness, and I could stop lying, especially to myself.
I wasn’t thrown in prison. They didn’t take away my son. I wasn’t fired. But I did have to go before the State Board of Examiners for Nursing and my nursing license was disciplined. My probation lasted four-years, which certainly wasn’t a cake walk. During the first year I didn’t have access to narcotics, which required co-workers to medicate my patients. And during all four years, both my nurse manager and therapist had to submit monthly reports regarding my ability to practice safely. I also had to submit to weekly and then twice monthly urine drug screens and attend support group meetings.
Alternative to Discipline
Each state has its own disciplinary practices, often governed by the Department of Public Health or other licensing body. This type of disciplinary process is public and punitive. Can you imagine having heart disease and being punished in a public forum? There are only about four states that do not have an alternative-to-discipline program. I wish that an alternative-to-discipline program had been instilled in my state at the time of my intervention; that’s why I’ve been fighting for it publicly ever since.
An alternative-to-discipline program recognizes that drug addiction is a disease and an occupational hazard for nurses. It provides them an avenue for getting help while maintaining their integrity, dignity, and job status after rehabilitation.
You can self-refer yourself, or a facility or coworker can refer you. There are mechanisms within the program to address those referrals and get nurses out of practice and into treatment and recovery without impacting their confidentiality or their ability to practice safely once they are proven fit to work. It functions within a case management system; therefore, trained addiction specialists conduct all monitoring. The process begins immediately, without the Department of Public Health’s involvement.
And Now?
I’m not a bad person, and I wasn’t then. I used a drug prescribed to me that was unknown to be addictive. But it turned into a disease. Without knowing it, I was putting other people in jeopardy—mainly because I was afraid of what would happen if I looked for help.
I’ve been clean for ten years, and I continue to hold an active nursing license which has been unencumbered since 2001. My son is 14, knows his mom is in recovery, advocates for other nurses, and provides tremendous support. I went back to school and earned a DARC (Drug/Alcohol Recovery Counselor) degree in 2005.
I am very active in the recovering nurse community and am an advocate for all recovering individuals. I have helped co-author legislation for an alternative-to-discipline program for Connecticut nurses in the past; now that Connecticut has passed a law allowing such a program, I am involved in its development. I am also an active member of Nurses for Nurses--Connecticut’s peer support group for nurses.
Nurses suffering from addiction are no different from anyone else suffering with a chronic and progressive disease. Addiction doesn’t discriminate or care what you have or what your status is in society. They say it’s an equal opportunity disease.
So, if you find yourself or a friend in this situation, find out if your state has an alternative-to-discipline program – and use it. Also locate the nurse support groups available. Remember: You don’t have to do this alone. It doesn’t matter if you’re taking pills or injecting; addiction is addiction, and you need freedom from it.
All nurses work extremely hard to become a nurse, but what’s most important: your license or your life? The opportunity for a better life is there. Take it.
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November 21st, 2007 at 11:21 pm
Thank you for this article. I am an RN in Maine. I am going through basically the same thing right now. I go before the board on Dec 5th. Any advice? Also, do you know if maine has a program in place? Thank you so much. This article has helped me tremendously. I am grateful.
November 22nd, 2007 at 4:49 am
Discipline is difficult for anywhere in healthcare. I am not familiar with the alternatives-to-discipline processes but they seem very similar to the philosophy of putting drug addicted offenders in hospital rather than in prison.
As an employer: would you want to take that risk of having someone with a disease that has implications for the unit and the patients working for you? It may be discriminatory, but if it went wrong, it would also leave the employer in a predicament of having “allowed” it to happen.
For a nursing board I believe the contrary is more applicable, although they also require a meaure of ‘public safety’ in their decision making. Generally tho, I find that nursing boards/councils/bodies nurses try to look after nurses.
I work with many staff who find their anger levels increase because of the nature of the clients we work with (mentally disordered offenders many with anti-social personality traits). As a supervisor, I try to cut both these items into the same decision making process – ie recognise the causality of the job in affecting staff behaviour but also maintain a line that should not be crossed.
When behaviour becomes illegal, compromises patient care or impacts on the wider service, then there is imperative need to address the matter.
In this instance; theft of drugs for personal use is illegal and also impacts on the finances of the hospital or patient paying for them. The addictive nature of the substance makes a requirement for ongoing monitoring and for nursing boards to ensure the support to remediate the issue is available and taken. It did not seem to directly impact on patient care so I would be inclined to agree with the action of the board and employer to essentially understand the issue, but also draw a line on the tolerance that was afforded.
Nothwithstanding, I hope that the nurses’ changing attitudes towards people with drug addictions spills over into the understanding of patients who are just the same – and require support to effect change rather than the ‘discipline’ of prison life or being told to “go away’ and stop wasting the healthcare services time with your problems.
November 22nd, 2007 at 8:32 am
Heather-
First of all, take a deep breathe; everything will be ok. I’m so glad my article was helpful, I’m very glad you reached out, that’s a huge step.
I checked all my sources and Maine does not have an alternative to disciplne program as yet. I might suggest that when you go before the board, have legal council. Most nursing board actions are administrative in nature but you still have rights and should take advantage, not because you have anything to hide but to protect your best interest. Most important is that you be honest before the board, I would guess if Maine is like most states, you won’t be the first nurse before them with this disease and they usually know when folks are not honest.
If you can, put the emphasis on what you’ve done (hopefully you’ve gone to treatment and are in early recovery) since you were confronted (caught). If you’re allowed, bring copies of all documents that prove you have gone to treatment, are building a support network (support letters from sponsor, family, co-workers). Write a letter to the board expalaining what you know about why you became addicted and what you’ve learned from this experience. If you feel remorse say so, explain any shame & guilt you have, don’t whine, just the heartfelt facts. Let the board know you are human and hold your head up, if you had diabetes would you feel less than???
As difficult as this time is, getting into recovery offers you a chance to be healthy and live a more sane life. It isn’t easy to get past the shame and guilt, we all have it and it’s a process to move through it. You have been ill and need to manage this disease like any other, ill does not equal BAD. You can do it.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers
December 30th, 2007 at 4:30 pm
Hi,
I am in recovery and have been looking for the nurses for nurses number to call, so I may find a meeting to attend. I’m a Certified Surgical Tech with a few classes to go for my RN. I’ve been recovering for 6 months (with a relapse) and could use more help.
Thanks
December 30th, 2007 at 11:13 pm
aol39
Please email me directly (I will give the editor permission to send it to you) I can help you out if you live in CT. Most states have some type of peer recovery group for professionals in recovery. This type of information might be found on the state’s nursing board website or nurse’s association site.
February 6th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
Hi Heather,I am also from Maine. I surrendered my liecense almost 3 years ago, but admitted my guilt to the D.A. and received a felon. Do you live near Portland? There is a meeting for health care professionals at Mercy Hospital Wed. nights (in the basement, of course!)
February 10th, 2008 at 10:08 am
Kim-
It’s great to see other nurses in recovery reaching out. This is the behaviour that can only benefit our colleagues.
Thanks
February 21st, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Dear Dede,
It was great to stumble on your article. Thank you for writing this. I could use some advice on a family situation. My sister is a practicing LPN. She has become addicted to prescrition drugs, mainly oxycodone, oxycontin and zanax. She also mixes this with some drinking. Her life is a mess but she is holding on to her job. She was recently arrested for possessing paraphenalia in her car two straws and for DUI, though the breathalyzer did not register an alcohol level. She faces mis demeanor charges for both of these counts. It looks as if she can get out of this as they did not find any illegal drugs in her an dshe had a prescription for all the drugs she possessed. She lives far away from me. I did finally call her lawyer and he told me he is fed up with her as she has not been following through or paying him. He told me that he feels she is very addicted to drugs and that she is in rough shape. He said if I were you I would report her to the nursing board. I am not sure what to do. Her job is one of the last things she has left. She does not even have a home anymore. I realize she could be putting people in harms way and I do not know why I hesitate to report her. How willthey do anything if she has a prescription to these drugs? At the place she works do they not see that she is a bit messed up? I am assuming she limits the pills while she is at work but it still must affect her. What should I do? I know this is a family disease and I do not want to contribute and be co dependent and I want to do the right thing. What would you suggest? I will look into if the state she is in has a alternative to discipline. I will try on line to find that out. Please if you have any suggestions they would be so welcome. I just hope that my sister can find her way out of this like you did. She is in deep denial and I do not know how to affect that denial. Thank you very much. Lilly
March 30th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
nice article but in healthcare today, there is little to no compassion for nurses in a recovery program. My suggestion is to find another profession. I am tired of living life in a monitoring program to the point participants can’t even drink water, eat a cookie, or even go to the dentist with out first obtaing “permission” for the higher power!!!
May 15th, 2008 at 11:35 am
I too am a recovering addict who has been a nurse for 19 years. After 3 years of sobriety and thousand’s of meetings and a stiff 2 years of daily observation by TPAPN- I have slipped. The persecution that the law puts on you is nothing compared to the guilt and self loathing you feel. Your employer doesn’t want you on their staff- and no one wants to hire you with stipulations. This is a disease. No one says when I grow up I am going to be an addict. All my life I wanted to be a nurse. In rehab they teach the crack addicts to stay away from the crack houses- how do you teach nurses to stay away from prescription drugs? We touch them every day. I am thinking of leaving the profession all together. My addiction is to demerol- I can’t be around it, our my drug seeking patients that the doctor’s so freely dishes it out to. I love my profession and feel it’s a God given gift. But I am spiritually drained from my failure.
June 25th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
I am grateful for your story. I am an addict and in hiding. I don’t dare tell anyone about my problem because of the profession I’m in. I’ve never stolen medicine from work or anywhere like that, but I buy it illegally and use it and I’m very scared of getting caught. This didn’t start with nursing, I had a few problems when I was a teenager. I quit for a long time and started again after my divorce a few years ago. I don’t know how to talk to anyone or what to do. I don’t know how to quit either. One day seems like a million years without anything. How did you overcome that feeling of wanting to take something??
June 30th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
Manda
Recovery is a process – no one just falls into it,, just like no one just gets addicted.
I fully understand how afraid you’re feeling, that’s so normal and at the same time fear may be preventing you from getting the help you need.
If you are using and working as a nurse, you are placing your patients in jeopardy – it may not seem like it BUT if you’re using your judgement is most likely impaired.
Take a leave of abcense and enter treatment – be proactive to take care of yourself ASAP. You need to stop working so your patients are protected.
I know it’s difficult but it’s far better for you to get help before you hurt someone,,,,or die.
I have asked the site to give you my email address in case you want to talk more.
Manda – you don’t have to do this alone, there is help and support available.
dede
July 7th, 2008 at 9:53 pm
I was so inspired by your article. I am an RN in MD. I obtained my license in PA. I was a Nurse for 8 years when my husband of 21 years and I moved to WVA and built a dream house. I never even took a Tylenol from a patients med drawer. After 1 year of living there, he wanted to move back to PA. I was confused. My youngest daughter moved to WVA to be close to us while living on College campus and everything was going so good. After months of hounding me, I conceded and agreed to move back to PA. We had a week between house settlements and took our 2 daughters to OBX. The second day there, I found out my husband was having an affair (not the first time). I was devestated. I left him (as I had threatened to do if this ever happened again). In one swift blow, my family broke up, my daughters were unconsolable, and I literally think I lost my mind. That was 8/5/05. I went back to working in PA at the hospital I left. My best friend called me one night, and we fought over my choice to leave my husband. I was in so much physical, emotional and mental anquish, I did it. I took narcotics and injected. It was like I was on the outside looking in. I wasn’t good at it, because I soon got caught. I enrolled in the PA drug program and kept my license. However, I went back to WVA 3 days a week, without telling them about PA, and was working. I started injecting there. My life was hell. I soon got caught again. I was living in Baltimore with my parents at the time. WVA suspended my license and I then let them expire because I knew I wouldn’t be using it there again. I then got a job in MD because I did not have any marks on my PA license because I was active in their program. I worked 8 months without using,…then my divorse papers came. I starting using again and again got caught. That was July 2007. I haven’t worked for a year. The Nursing board finally caught up with me. I have to go before the board soon…I am embarrassed and humiliated. But, I want to keep my license. I have been clean for a year, but not in a program. Im not sure what to do. I called the Board of Nursing and left a message for the Substance Abuse person to call me back, and she never did. Where do I go from here? Should I obtain a Lawyer to take with me? I need help. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thank You
Catherine
July 7th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
Catherine
I’m glad you wrote, you have been through so much.
Our disease of addiction makes us act outside our moral selves and even though we try to stop we can’t without help.
You don’t mention going to treatment, that’s where our new lives can really begin. We need education related to what has happened us, our bodies, our brains. We need the help of professionals because most of us are ignorant about addiction.
In an attempt to make everything right for everyone else we lose sight of our own needs and make bad choices that we can’t control. Begin with the first step of entering treatment – if your board action comes up while you’re in treatment ask for a continuance, perhaps you need the advise of a lawyer if you were in CT I’d say absolutely.
Embarrassment, humiliation and shame are so normal and thankfully temporary – this is a process not an event – so do the next right thing and hold your head up, you have a disease and you need to manage it with the help of professionals – would you hang your head in shame if your disease was diabetes???? No one will ever judge us harder than we judge ourselves.
I have asked the site to give you my personal email in the event you want to ‘talk’ more.
Email me
dede
July 9th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Hello. I am not an RN. I am asking this question in regard to my niece, who is an RN. I found out something by accident while surfing the web. I have known for some time that my niece is a recreational pot user. I do not approve, but she is an adult and has to make her own choices, right or wrong. I found out that she tested positve during a random drug screen at the hospital she is working in. I am heart sick. I feel like slapping her and hugging her at the same time. She is living in another state but would like to come back to her home town some day. She is such a good nurse! I had the oppurtunity to see her work as she flew home during the holidays to give hospice care to a family member. Does this disiplainary action mean she will not be able to get her license back in her home state? Thanks
July 21st, 2008 at 11:33 pm
So sorry about this issues. My dear friend has just be caught in this situation. She and I work together and I feel stupid for not even seeing the problem. What kind of friend and nurse am I? My heart aches for my friend and want to help her.
July 21st, 2008 at 11:58 pm
I am a nurse in recovery. I was stipulated by the board 3 yrs ago. I can’t find a job. What do I do. Is there common places that hire stipulated nurses?
July 22nd, 2008 at 7:30 am
well I thought life was good. I have been in recovery for a year and was going before the nursing board to petition to get my license back when I get a sopena to court for drug diversion. Not only that, they are charging me with three counts for each additional diversion, 12 in all. So for all of you who are worried about your nursing license, you may have bigger problems to worry about as I do… like….prison, a felony which will prevent me from working anywhere that medicaid or medicare is accepted, which is EVERYWHERE. So if I do get it back…it might not matter anyways. I never heard of anyone going to jail for diabetes. I feel that I am being punished for being sick, which really bites. I know I screwed up. I accept the responsibility for my actions, but I’ve gotten so far in recovery and feel as if I am being kicked when I’m down. Oh well, one day at a time I guess. Accept the things I cannot change…..
August 17th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
As peer assistance advisor for Ohio’s nurse anesthetists, I get phone calls and emails regarding this topic every week. I wish there was an answer that was consistent for everyone dealing with this issue. Unfortunately, right now in Ohio everything is very vague. The Ohio Nurses Association and the Ohio Board have no definitive answers for nurses with substance abuse or chemical dependency problems. While the American Medical Associations accepts CD as a disease, our “learned” colleagues on the board of nursing don’t seem to agree with that definition. I am working with my colleagues at the state and national level to deal with this problem. We are making slow progress.
Right now, it seems discipline has taken precedence over treatment. We hope to get that changed in the future.
Jack Stem
apecs.jackstem.com
November 10th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
I am a registered nurse that had open heart surgery in 2006 at the age of 46. Because of my workplace and finances, I had to go back to work after being off for only 5 weeks. Although my incisions healed, I convinced myself I needed my pain medication way beyond what is considered normal. When I couldn’t convince my doctor to renew my prescription, I stole from work and was fired. I self reported to Pennsylvania Health Monitoring Board and enrolled in addiction program. I am under the Boards guide for the next 3 years, and still face disciplinary action. The problem is, I have been cleared to go back to work 6 months ago, and have not found a place willing to give me a second chance. I was wondering if you had any advice. This is not a cheap program with bimonthly urine tests that I pay out of pocket. I have been very honest in interviews with my addiction and recovery, and have one misdemeanor theft charge on my record. What are my chances for employment from your knowledge of situation? Any help would be appreciated as I am losing heart and considering letting my license go if I can’t find employment soon. thanks, jc
November 10th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
Hi JC-
Don’t despair! There have been many nurses in your shoes who have found work. I am an administrative RN in a nursing home with about half of my 5 years of probation left to go. Honestly, I have a better job now than I have ever had even before I got in trouble.
A good place to try for work is at dialysis facilities (no narcs there, generally), the Red Cross, and long term care facilties. I advise that you sell yourself just like normal in interviews and AFTER you have impressed the interviewer with your knowledge, experience, etc, THEN tell them of your license status. No need for gory details & keep it simple & honest. Emphasize that you have dealt with your “issues” and are ready to be a productive worker now.
There is a good forum about recovering nurses on allnurses.com and there is a voy forum called “Real Recovering Nurses” that can offer you more advice & support.
Don’t let your sense of shame defeat you and you WILL survive this crisis and remain a nurse. Good luck.
Catmom
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:49 am
Well Hello my fellow dope feinds!
I am so happy I found this site. My story is quite typical; multiple painful minor surgeries, percs; multiple back and shoulder injuries, vics; Kid gets cancer; whatever it took to kill the feelings.
20 years of ER nursing…flushed.
In the two months before the axe fell I successfully ran a code on the floor (no docs or code team available), delivered a baby (docs tied up with code) precepted and taught classes. All while either in withdrawal (then a daily occurence) or on more drugs than our worst of drug seekers ever got.
I am in the SARP (the MA alternative to d. program) and have been clean and sober for over 18 months.
It was soooo good to find the professional group that I meet with each week…whatever stage of the disease/professional struggle you are in it is to be sure that someone else has faced it in that room and survived.
Patience and humility have turned a disaster into a godsend. It is so rewarding to just wake up and not be filled with fear and shame. There is a way out of the mess, but it takes some time…
PS: Read patty’s book (Walking like a Duck) it has very little to do with acutal ducks, more to do with human nurse addicts.
November 25th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
HI, I am so happy to hear of your recovery. I am currently under investigation for diversion. I am just wondering if you know anything about mass. Do they have a program and how likely will I have criminal charges. I am so scared. I am really disappointed in myself. I have let soooo many people down. I am afraid I will loose everything. please pray for me…..
November 25th, 2008 at 7:55 pm
Hi I am a new nurse just starting out. I could never see myself taking drugs from the hospital I work at, but I sympathize with the situation you are in. I’ll pray for you’re recovery.
November 25th, 2008 at 7:57 pm
Louise,
I really will pray for you!!
December 2nd, 2008 at 2:18 am
I can relate. I’m currently in Diversion. I’ve been a great nurse for nearly 30 years, and only this year became massively addicted to IV opiates. It happened fast and hard, and while I did lose my job over it I think it may be one of the best things that could have happened to me. I’ve needed to ‘recover’ from alot more than drugs in my life, and this is the opportunity to do so. I also think that I’m quite finished with nursing at this point. Its like everything that happened finally gave me the permission to grow that I could not give myself. I have a Masters Degree in Nursing-and I dont have to have an active RN to put MS on any resume…
I’m on disability right now, and stopping to take care of myself. In California you can get disability for up to one year for substance abuse problems (there is an ICD9 code for it..). I would suggest that those of you who are unemployed or perhaps need to be for a little while, check into your states laws regarding the disability, find a primary care doc who understands these issues, and if you can get it-do so! We owe it to ourselves to stop and take care of ourselves for a change.
I never in my life-and I am now almost 50-would have dreamed I would take drugs from my workplace. In fact, it still blows my mind how I fell into that loop so quickly. I am glad its over. I think I wanted to get caught subconcsiously. I will have to say that I never took my patients meds per se-they always got their meds..I just started taking it out for myself..blatantly..wondering when someone would freakin notice.. So, chin up everyone-you and I are exactly where we need to be right now. Have faith in something greater than yourself!
December 9th, 2008 at 8:41 am
i just went to ask for counselling from a Specialist drug and alcohol support service in uk re. my having smoked a class A drug reguarly for a while outside of work.I explained in great depth that I love my work and on no account did I want to jepordise my registration.Instead of being offered any help, I had a phone call from them saying that they were going to disclose my problem to my occupational health dept and that may lead to them informing the UK nursing Board unlessI told my workplace what I had done.Any advice for an Enlish nurse would be appreciated
January 3rd, 2009 at 4:56 am
My heart goes out to each and everyone of these nurses and for all people with the disease of addiction who haven’t been able to seek treatment. Your disease is poorly recognized as a disease and thought of more as a weakness, so therefore, it’s difficult to get treatment and worse, be treated with compassion. You would never be fired for being Diabetic.
I pray that each of you recover and receive fair treatment. I hope all judging you, use the compassion that we as nurses give our patients everyday.
May God bless you all.
February 11th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
Dede – Finding your article, could not have happened at a better time for me. My sister has the problem, but this has become a family problem and I am sick and scared for all involved. Do you still answer these comments? I need help or where to look for help asap. Should I continue? maey
March 22nd, 2009 at 2:37 am
Dede…thank you so much for your article. You have answered so many questions for so many people. I do have a question for you regardeing the alternative to discipline program. I would be so greatful for some advice on the matter. First, my story, I too am a recovering addict. In 1998 my 18th birthday present was breast inplants. The surgery did not go well to say the least. I was on vicoden and oxycotin for an extented period of recovery time. That surgury led to a 7yr addiction to any and all pain meds. My mind and soul was under complete control by the drug. I became a dental assistant in 2002-2004 writing scrips and calling them in, that is how I keep my habit going. I was so confused and ashamed while doing this because my husband was a Denver police officer. He knew of my addiction he just did not know how bad it was, yet. I was caucht in 2003 by the dentist I had been working for, for a year and that is when the felonies started and so did my treatment. I lost my job, husband, daughter, home, well my whole life in 2005. I did go to jail and obtained three Felonies in a matter of 2 months in 2003 my addiction to oxycotin spun out of control. Today, I have completely changed my life. My ex husband and I are currently dating and working on a new life as a healthy active family. I am so blessed God gave me back everything I lost. Now, I am on a mission to become a Rn. I want nothing more to help addicts and their families. Classes start in June2008 (RN_BSN). I have been researching nursing and felonies to make sure I can test and obtain a rn license. My question to the Alternative to Discipline Program is, does this program apply to persons that already have felonies. (ME)Thank you God Bless
March 25th, 2009 at 1:44 am
i loved your article. and i am glad u could keep your job. my frustration is that with all the hype about the nursing shortage. there are so many recovering nurses who would love the chance to work again. there is no support for nurses who are impaired, you spend your whole life working and helping others and then when u need help for the same issues, you are abandoned and left alone to suffer alone, no one wants you nor will they talk to you. you find yourself snubbed by those you worked closely with for the last 10-20 yrs. you have no friends and are basically on welfare. looking for a chance to make a comeback, only no one in the healthcare system will even look at you. why are we different from those we helped, why are outcast from society. we can overcome our addiction just like the ones we detoxed over the years and supported, we too can claim our victory. the system we loved and supported and worked so hard for. they system we believed in has let us all down, after your admission and after the investigation you are sentenced by the board, probation, suspension fines. you complete everything, random drug screens, therapy in hopes of getting your license back and go back to work, hoping for support of your coworkers and freinds only to find total rejection from everyone, resumes lots of resumes, phone calls interviews they all love you, then you tell them your story even after they have said we want to hire you, then all of the sudden the looks come over them and they resind there offer. now what, you try to get hired without telling anyone in hopes of gaining employment, but what u dont know is that you are put on a federal list of disciplined nurses. even though your license is clean it will show up on this list for ten years from the date you started your probation, it all sounds to sad, there would be no nursing shortage, the shortage of hiring if the people who help other people could just recognise the fact that we are people too and sometimes we need help. no one is perfect. we are suppose to be superior. then why cant we be superior in the fact we recognise and help each other that is what healthcare is about helping others. its not about rejection. u can work privately for yourself. or you can maybe work longterm care, but very rarely will you ever be supported and welcomed back into the society of nursing.
May 27th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
HI, I recently admitted to the police that I took Demerol..actually i didn’t end up taking it..but attempted, realized my mistake, and replaced it. I did not do this for my own use..i did this because I am in an abussive relationship and the father of my children threathened me. I brought him home Normal saline instead. The pharm found out the vials had been tampered with, and me being STUPID..got scared and confessed..(i knew they would have no proof i did it) but i got scared..now today i sit here and wait for the Trooper to get in touch with me to tell me my fate..will i be arrested? I lost my job and even though my boss was understanding, she told me she had to inform the BON…what will happen to me? This is Michigan…will i face felony charges if i didn’t take the medication? Will I lose my license when i was scared for my own safety and that is why I even THOUGHT about taking it? If someone knows the answers please help relieve my sick stomach. I am a single mom trying to support my two wonderful boys..I am ashamed of what i have done, and will never feel pressured to do it again..i just want to get away from this man and away from this town. But my RN degree was all I had..my only abiality to leave and be able to afford it…what do i do?
May 29th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Grayson – it sounds like you’ve been doing it tough for a while.
First (and last really) – get legal advice.
But for what it’s worth –
Make the decisions you need to make.
Make the changes you need to make to make the decisions happen.
And mostly; make peace with yourself. You’re not stupid – just lost and confused maybe.
May 31st, 2009 at 12:05 am
Grayson my dear:
I have been through the same thing, only the drugs were for me, not a man. I have met and spoken with a lot of other nurses who were in the same situation.
First off..get a lawyer. I know it sounds harsh, but don’t say or write anything to anyone.
As far a legality goes, I got prosecuted. I know a lot of nurses who were NOT prosecuted..they may have been fired, but their bosses let them off the hook.
Your nursing license is another matter…I live in Wisconsin and the state board here has a program for people like us and it allows them to keep their licenses (and their livlihood) with some restrictions for a few years. The particulars are different for everybody, depending on the circumstances and how the board rules.
This is serious stuff, my dear, but it’s not too late to get yourself out of hot water. Be strong, hold your chin up (literally) be honest, and PLEASE let me know if there is anything I can do to help. I would be willing to talk to you either in person or via e-mail. I know alot about what you are going through and I can give you some really good advice. XO Katy
June 2nd, 2009 at 4:07 pm
Thank you both (Mr Ian and Katy B) for your encouragement! You just don’t know how much I appreciate it. So far I have not heard anything from the police. My ex boss told me she wasn’t going to press charges, but who knows if the prosecutor or Pharm will do so. I was going to reapply for my TN lisence..I let it expire two yrs ago..I’m wondering if I do that, before anything happens to my MI license, If i would be able to get outta here and start over. Get away from this man and start a new life. Would MI BON inform TN? Or what happens if I don’t put down that I had a license in MI? I know this sounds bad..Im just trying to do what i can. Katy B I would love to talk more about this with you! It’s so great to know I’m not alone. I’m not sure what MI has to offer for Nurses who go through this…if I’d be allowed to keep my license. How would I find that out?
June 5th, 2009 at 10:56 am
Grayson,
If there are no charges brought against you at this stage then I don’t think you are required to declare anything.
However if you are under formal investigation for the theft (of some normasol?) or tampering with a controlled drug – then you’re better to admit to it with the BoN rather than them find out at a later date.
I’d be surprised (and disappointed) if the police/prosecution took the matter further as there’s little to be gained from it.
If I were you – pack up and go anyhow.
If you’re in trouble with MI BON, you’re in trouble with TN BON anyhow… if you’re not – then you’re not with either of them – so that’s no different wherever you are and shouldn’t hold you bakc form making a much more important decision:
If you’re in an abusive relationship and you have an opportunity to get out of it – take it.
June 15th, 2009 at 2:58 am
I too have been an R.N. for 15 years. In 2005 I added refills to a legitamite prescription and got caught. I received a $1000 fine, a misdameanor for attempted illegal processing of a drug document and was put on probation for 2 years. I was upfront and honest with my employer of 15 years and for this they initially gave me a leave of abscence and then while I was in an outpatient drug program my supervisor fired me over the phone. Here I was an R.N. with a B.S.N. who worked in I.C.U. and Telemetry step down as a Charge Nurse and a preceptor and now because of a mistake outside of work I am being told I can no longer work for this hospital or any of it’s affiliates. Living in Ohio I was able to enroll in the B.O.N. alternative program where I was sober for 2 years, however in 2007 I had a relapse and was kicked out of the program. At this time I enrolled in my second outpatient rehab. Before my relapse I worked in an Internist office and then in a long term care facilty. Like many others before me it took a LONG time to get a job. We addicts are damaged goods and no matter how good are resumes look and we spin our accomplishments it’s our wreckage of the past that creeps up and ruins ANY chance of anyone TAKING A CHANCE on us. I know have to have 18 months of monitored sobriety by the B.O.N. before I can get my license back. Once I do this I will have permanent restrictions on my license along with 5 years of probation. It was very difficult to get a job before but with these even stricter and permenant restrictions it will be next to impossible. Initally, I was on vicodin/percocet for a back injury and O.A. of the knees. I have not been able to even start the 18 months of monitored sobriety by the Board because I had back surgery a year ago in which they fixed 1 of the 3 herniated discs. I still have back pain along with pain radiating down my left leg and partial foot numbness. I too feel like a failure! I am ashamed of myself because I did know better and look where I am now. I not only lost my job I also lost close friends and co-workers not to mention the respect from family and myself. I’m not sure if I am going to get my license back because I feel emotinonally, mentally and physically drained. The monitoring program makes you disclose your addition to EVERYONE! You can’t even go to the eye doctor without their approval and paperwork stating you are an addict-translation-LOSER! That’s how I feel. I can’t help but to day-dream ‘what if I didn’t do this or that’ where would I be now-better off or dead? I am currently taking online classes to obtain a Medical Transcriptionist certificate so I can worked from home. I felt like with my nursing knowledge base this could be a good fit. I just want to contribute financially to my family because I have cost them so much already. I am also torn with not getting my nursing license back since I worked so hard to obtain it. Is there not any jobs I could do with just a B.S.N. and not an active license? Any advice you could give me would be greatly appreciated. Also, I tried to find professional groups for support however, there would either be just myself or one other person that would show up so I eventually gave up. Thank you, J.D.
June 15th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
What happens if you are fired from a job for giving out too many narcotics, and you are not a drug addict or stealing them. I was called into the office and told an audit was done and I came up as being the nurse with the most dispenses of narcotics in their past 30 day audit. we have a MAK system where we do the charting of our meds,which sucks, I have to admit I am lousy about sometimes slacking and overiding so occasionally things weren’t getting charted, so for that I am guilty. We are always told if it wasn’t charted it wasn’t done right. Anyways they fired me and said they have to report this to the state board of nursing in Indiana. I also forgot to mention to them while I was fighting for my job that maybe I came up as giving the most narcs beacuse I have been working 5 12 hours a shift a week for the past 2 months. I am sure they don’t account for hours we work in their little audit. I have to say I am very pissed. What do I do. What is going to happen to me. They didn’t ask me to take a drug test. I didn’t offer, I am thinking maybe I should go somewhere to pay for one. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
June 15th, 2009 at 11:19 pm
Well, I thank you so much for your advice…I wanted to update you in the matter that the Trooper DID get in touch with me via phone..he told me that I needed to bring in $300+ for my “fine” and give him my fingerprints..then of course he wouldn’t explain anything else to me…well i have been in the hospital (as a pt) for the last 9 days, so I have to call the Trooper back tomorrow..of course he was not nice to me..the fact that my drug test came back negative and the fact that i did NOT end up taking the drug, yet admitting i thought about it and explained my reasons..yet he was an ass! Just nice to me at the time to get me to admit to it! Telling me he “understood and went from thinking i was a pig loser drug addict to someone who needed to be protected….told me he would do everything he could to help me not get prosecuted…yet then he calls and he’s an ASS on the phone being sarcastic like he could give a crap…treated me like a junky…i don’t know…not sure what will happen from this point…i reapplied for my TN license…hoping that maybe i could luck out and get it renewed before anything happened here in MI..just so i can move away from my ex with my kids and start a new life…that is all i want to do..i am willing to do whatever it takes for a second chance! I just hope things go OK..I really don’t want to go to jail…what will happen to my boys?! I’ll keep you posted…and please know that your advice comforts me! I really feel less alone…and also to Sarah…if i were you i would get a drug test for your own defense..it seems harsh that you were fired for giving out too many narcs? I mean, You are there to take care of your pts! I really don’t think anything will happen to your license for something like that..but if you can find a legal place to get yourself a urine test to have on you and fight fight fight! I just think that the world today is crazy! With all the people who are addicted to drugs and all the media attention to it…i really think it makes our jobs so much harder..and a patients life so much harder…I once worked with a doctor who would not increase a morphine dose on a terminal cancer pt because he didn’t want her to get addicted!!! HELLO! Addiction is a HORRIBLE thing to go thru for everyone involved…but thanks to all the attention being brought to it, poor pts who REALLY NEED these narcs to live what life they have, can’t get them without looking like drug seekers…it’s terrible!
June 17th, 2009 at 12:44 am
Hi dede,
I am an LPN just getting into recovery. I was caught diverting at work. Charged with falsifying business records. I do have a lawyer and currently the only treatment i am doing is court ordered TASC program. My question is.. does NY have an impaired nurse program for LPN? I would love to get into a disciplinary program so i wont lose my license forever. I am willing to do whatever i can to stay a nurse. Thank you for listening
June 25th, 2009 at 5:42 pm
Katy B..how can I get intouch with you via email? I would really like to talk more! Let me know if there is a way I can give this site permission to give you my email or what i can do, if it’s OK with you. Thanks so much!
September 10th, 2009 at 6:43 pm
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us! It is always helpful to have people you can relate to with similar stories or situations. I am reluctant to share too much of my personal story here but would love to communicate through e-mail if possible. Are you able to e-mail me or is there a way for me to e-mail you? Thank you again!
September 12th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
Dede…like so many of the comments i have just read i too am a nurse(LPN). I went to school full-time in 2005 achieving a dream i thought was out of my reach. I love being a nurse, my co-workers loved me and appreciated me when working with them. I would get choked up when patients would express their gratitude towards me; and so many times patients would tell me I was born to be a nurse or I seemed to have a natural ability to make people feel at ease and not judged. A patient that was from California home for her fater-in-laws funeral wrote a letter about me to the CEO of the hospital, I carry a copy of that letter in my purse. It’s like gold to me. For a stranger to think I am the best nurse she ever encountered… well that touches me in a way I never thought possilbe. I worked for the same co. for the past 5 yrs., I was nominated and won rookie LPN of the year in ‘06. I’m not bragging about myself…but do believe I am a nurse that would not judge patients, compasionate and carng no matter your illness or injury.
I am also a single mother of two that recieves no child support…I am also a women that has had difficult relationhips with men starting with my father. I am also an alcoholic and a drug addict, something I told myself I would never be because my dad was (haven’t seen him in over 17+ yrs) a violent alcoholic. I never wanted to be like him. My kids were never gonna grow up the way I did, well my oldest lived that life until 2004. I got sober and stayed sober for 2 yrs, my life was amazing. I was happy to be an alcoholic and drug addict because that diagnosis and it is a medical diagnosis led me to a new way of life. I was finally able to make sense of myself- I had a solution. For so many yrs drinking was my solution, my only coping skill I ever knew – it was normal to me.
It’s called Alcoholics Anonymous for a reason and I choose to remain anonymous at work because having been a unit clerk for most of my adult life in the emergency dept. I heard and witnessed what healthcare “professionals” would say about patients wanting detox again or overdosing again or being intoxicated and beat up again. They would be the patients that no respect was given to let alone the standard of care that was given to other patients. Judgements were made on addicts and alcoholics. So many times when these patients (my people) we being made fun of or ignored by my fellow co-workers – I would think…what if I told them right now that I am an alcoholic and addict…what would they say? What would they think of me now? In my opinion people working in healthcare, many of them…have no respect for this illness, patients are treated as “damaged goods”…as if they are somehow less deserving of the type of care that the patient in the next bed over with CHF, diabetes or any other chronic illness recieves from the same doctor or nurse. I knew I would be treated differantly, maybe not by all but surely most would not think of me as a good nurse, a productive nurse, a stigma would follow me. But many times I would disclose myself to patients, being oh so grateful…but for the grace of God, there go I.
This comment is not getting to the point. In 2007 I relapsed, drinking again…isolating myself from AA friends and family. I was in a relationship with a sober man. I never thought he would fracture my mandible strangling me in a fit of rage not once but three separate occasions. My back was injured from being thrown down on hard wood stairs and I hardly could open my mouth to talk. I went to work the same night the first incident happens. Co-workers noticied my inabilty to open my mouth and I would not hold back the tears…tears from physical pain but more so from shame that I let this happen to me again. Having no defense…I innocently thought once, “it’s only 2 mg of morphine…it’s a waste anyways…if it helps this person for that pain maybe it will help me for my pain. And off and running I go…now I am using not only for my occasional pain but I don’t know how else to deal with the mess I have myself in now that I have taken a coule more doses. I can’t tell anyone, my mind would scream to me don’t do this…you have come so far. But without thought I did it again and again. My tolerance building faster than I can treat my disease. The shame, guilt, remorse was to much to bear and I know I can never tell anyone..who will understand? The physical addiction took over before I knew it and the drug and needle had control.
I was contronted by my boss and a human resourse employee and I denied, denied, denied. Both of them said if I have a problem and willing to admit it, then there are programs in place for this, “we can get you the help you need”, “these programs are in place because we are aware that this happens to nurses”, “you aren’t the first nurse this has happened too”. Still I said no…Well they said if you didn’t remove it then we have no choice but to suspend you and start a FDA investigation. I finally confessed feeling the world lifted off my shoulders…all my emotions poured out of me, I couldn’t control my tears. My boss at the time was consoling and repeatedly told me, “everything is gonna be ok”, “we are gonna get you the help you need”. She said, “nursing is a caring profession”, “we take care of one another”. I was sent home and my boss called me one week later to come into human resources. I knew I would be facing some kind of discipline from the board but it never crossed my mind that I would be fired. That is exactly what happened. My boss wouldn’t even look me in the eyes…she was my boss for 5 years. I said to her, you told me I would get help, you said we take care of our own. I looked looked right at my boss and then at the HR guy and my director and said, “you are firing me because I have a disease?” “I have kids”, “I am a good nurse.” I asked about “the programs” they said I could go to and they slid me a pamphlet across the table and said you can go to employee assistance, I called them and told them we are giving you this opprotunity. That’s your program…I have already had my 6 visits for the year with them.
This is turning out to be a novel… I guess I needed to talk about this…I was searching nurses recieving felony drug convictions and found this article, so thank you. I am facing 2 felonies and not sure what the board is gonna do, I did surrender my license and reported myself before my job finally got around to doing it. I am aware of the alternative program and praying for treatment in leau of conviction. I returned to AA and reached to the friends that tried to help me before… ironiclly I am in school for my RN…and now I don’t even know if that is what I want to do anymore. This semester I am taking 2 social work classes.
Dede- if you actually read this entire run-on sentence…Thank you so much. You mentioned you are an advocate today and CD counselor. That seems to be a direction I am going in…not sure, just keep praying for God’s guidance. If you can email me I would really appreciate your time. I didn’t mention my state but you like to tell you where I live. Thank you for having the courage to take a stand for me and many others. Someday I pray alcoholism and addiction will be taken seriously by the field that I love.
October 30th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
I’m glad to have found this article. I am not an RN, but rather am trying to gather facts before entering nursing school. I’m already an addict in recovery for 8 years now. There will be no hiding this as I have 2 arrests for possession from 1999 that will likely show up on a background check. Does anyone know if I will still be able to obtain a PA license or who I should contact to find out? I’d like to find out before I actually spend time and money on schooling. Thank you for any advice!
November 30th, 2009 at 9:34 pm
I am a RN who has struggled with addiction in the past. I was able for a long time to keep my work and private lives separate. But they did inevitably collide. My license was suspended and now I am on probation. I have numerous restrictions on my license. I have had a difficult time finding employment. Do you have any advice about ways to find employment with restrictions?
January 2nd, 2010 at 7:36 pm
We have options and choices in life, my dream has always been to be a nurse, at the age of 18 I obtained my LPN, and worked my entire life being proud of this special profession. At the age of 50, after obtaining my associates and BSN, I was sitting in jail, after successfully completing rehab and being sentenced to a half-way house. My crime was not patient related or even drug related, I drank and recieved 3 DUI’S within 1 year because of marital problems. I reported myself when filling out my renewal for my liscense, and since I was incarcerated, I couldn’t defend myself. When I got out and tried a lawyer from Harrisburg took my case and assured me I paid, and th eboard didn’t have a case..$10,000 later and out of a marriage, family, and a job…the board wanted to further disipline me, even with three years of sobriety, I will NEVER enter another treatment center again, just to prove that I can practice nursing safely….I WAS A GOOD NURSE….
January 11th, 2010 at 4:30 pm
WOW! Does my stomach and heart hurt for all of you! I will try to make my story short and sweet. Agency RN, stole a lot of Demerol, agency told me “go get help, can’t work for us anymore.” So I just went to work staff somewhere else, of course the demons are always there. Texas BON notified, sent to TPAPN and was shocked at the disingenious meeting liasion who only wanted to talk about her husband and her dog. Got a new job, but didn’t tell them about TPAPN and quit the program. Eventually the BON caught up with me. They said to surrender my license and get it backin a year. Well… a lot happened in that year, so I applied for reinstatement in 2006 and got it! 3 years monitoring with stips. I had gone to rehab, no criminal stuff. Anywho, got a job in dialysis(where they were desperado!!!!) Never received paperwork from 3rd party to begin weekly UA’s, all my calls to BON were unreturned!!! So I blew it off. After 2 (yes two) years I hear from the BON telling me they are going to yank my license for non-compliance with UA’s. Lawyer time. Board actually ruled in my favor, 10,000 dollars later, so I started the UA’s immediately(by then the enrollment procedure had changed to online rather than snail mail) After 3 years of a crappy job, being treated like a leper and NEVER getting a raise because I was a “naughty nurse.”I finished my 3 year employment and gave my 2 week resignation. AMEN! I left the company and nobody said BOO. Imagine my surprise when I wanted to know when the stips were gonna come off my license and I was told that until I had completed job, meetings, and UA’s SIMULTANEOUSLY my board order would still be in effect. Of course, like the others have stated, getting a job is harder than speaking to GOD! Nobody cares about all my education, MD referrals, perfect attendance, YEARS of sobriety. I have stips so I am persona non grata everywhere! I remember how hard it was to get sober…staying sober when you can’t find a job is right up there with fighting your urges. I made my bed and now I have to lay in it, I know. But come on! Why does the Board have stips if they know you can’t find a job? Of course I have seen too many nurses kill patients and nothing happens to them, everything is swept under the carpet or blamed on the patient’s non-compliance. I made my mistakes, I learned from them, how long must I wear the Scarlet Letter?????????
January 23rd, 2010 at 4:50 pm
I was wondering if you had any opinion on my situation. I have been involved with a contentious custody dispute with my ex for the last 17 years. We separated in 1993 and divorced in 1996. Up until 2006 we shared all custody, though we were frequently in and out of court over the kids. Most recently I was accused of being an addict by one of my kids. After a year and a half of litigation, my kid’s step mother informed the BON that I was court ordered to have random drug testing. What the order actually stated was that my ex had the right to randomly drug test me 12 times per year at his expense. This was something that my ex and I came into agreement in order to settle the dispute and keep it from going to trial. Well, now I am facing losing my license. Any thoughts?
January 30th, 2010 at 5:28 am
These sorry *ss nursing boards need to get educated. Who oversees them? Who is in charge of them? They are a bunch of ignorant fools! Someone needs to regulate what THEY are doing! It is criminal and unamerican the way they are treating our nurses!
February 5th, 2010 at 1:12 am
I live in the state of Colorado and was choosen to do a drug test due to “behavioral changes, not being focused” accourding to one other staff member, but that was all it took. My drug test came back postivie for dilaudid. The night before beging tested I took two of my friends 2mg PO dilaudid pills. Percocet also came up, but I have a prescription for that. I am so frighten I will loose everything. My job is my life.
and I have more to confess. In the past I have used left over vivals of Dilaudid to take home, only a hand full of times, but not mention of my count being off or not wasting drugs were mentioned when I was given the drug test. I have to meet with HR tomorrow and I am horrified. Will there be legal action, will i loose my licesnce and if not where can I work with a restricted licesnce. I will be running out of money fast. any ideas,,,, please help
February 5th, 2010 at 10:28 pm
My entire life, I dreamed of becoming a nurse. I eventually was able to afford to put myself through LPN school, and I graduated with top honors. I then got hired at a long term care facility. It was a stressful environment, but I loved my job. I was extreamly dedicated and proud to be an LPN. Its a really long story of how I ended up here, but…In late 2006, I was caught diverting percocet from my job. I was fired, arrested, and reported to DBON. I was charged with 11 felony counts of theft of a controlled substance(each pill-is one felony count). And my license was suspended for 5 years. Thankfully, the judge gave me the opportunity to attend the drug diversion program, and if completed, they would drop all charges. I did successfully graduate from the diversion program 6 months later, and the felonies were dropped. I have been clean from the time I was fired from my job in 2006. I still reguarly attend AA/NA meetings, as well as weekly therapy sessions. My suspension will be lifted in November 2011. Do you have any suggestions for when the time comes to ask for reinstatement? Do I need a lawyer? My therapist told me she would come with me, but I just dont know what to expect. How do these things work? Can I go at this alone, with just me and my therapist, or is getting a lawyer a better route? I dont have the financial means to pay for one, but I will be willing to go broke to get my license back. After all of this…my dream is to nurse for an impatient drug rehab of some sort, and eventually get trained in drug counseling. Also, Delaware does not offer any type of support group for nurses, so another goal of mine is to start a support group for addicted nurses in my area. I appreciate any advice you can offer for my situation. Thanks for listening.
February 26th, 2010 at 2:42 pm
My story is a different one. I am a recovering RN
and currently on probation through the Ohio nursing board. I found myself caught up in cocaine
during nursing school. I graduated with no problem in 2006. I worked as an RN in a local hospital until someone called and told them I was an addict. Though I denied everything I was fired, I am pretty sure it had something to do with using with the DON’s son. I found another job at a long term care facility. I worked there for a year. Eventually snorting cocaine was not working any more so I decided to start smoking it. This requires hanging around with people who
were not the typical users I had been hanging with. One night while using, the police knocked on my door. To make a long story short, I was charged with possession of cocaine and recieved a felony. I was sentenced to 3 years probation and enrolled in a intense outpatient drug rehab. I surrendered my nursing license. I am eligible for reinstatement in 2011. The BON would not let me do alternative to dicipline. I am currently drug testing randomly and when I do receive my license
back they will be restrcted for 3 years. I am so discouraged.Where will I ever find a job. I am lacking the experience that I am sure they are looking for before my charges. I have been clean for 2 years and struggle everyday. Do you know any sites that allows recovering nurses to chat, because there is relief in knowing I am not alone.
Thank you for all the articles. I feel for each and everyone of you. God help us,we will prevail.
jean
March 2nd, 2010 at 9:58 am
Oh boy,, where do i start.? LOL. RN for five years, have a Masters in Healthcare Admin. Had back surgery in 2008, by 2009 I was heavily addicted to Oxycodone. I wrote my own prescriptions for the drug and went from never having a speeding ticket to 18 felony charges in jail. I am now in Floridas felony drug court, which will drop the charges at the end of the program. I am 6 months clean. I am just starting to deal with the board now. Even though I am unsure if I want to go back to nursing. My criminal record will be expunged, so I may just leave nursing. The Board does have a great diversion program down here. The problem is finding employment. thats seems to be next to impossible. But, the reason that I can peacefully LOL now. I am clean and sober and I feel great. The job, the license and all that other stuff mean nothing when you are fighting for your life against addiction. I nearly and probably shoud have died. I have turned my life over to God and work the twelve steps with my sponsor. I have peace and serenity. So now, whatever is supposed to happen will. God kept me alive for a reason and im sure that it will all fall into place soon, Please, all you recovering or still suffering addicts hang in there! Its getd better. However, you must do the work!! Get a sponsor and work the program. I have met many nurses that have years clean and have wonderful jobs that they love now. Dont forget, your addiction is trying to kill you. It will keep telling you in the beginning, “your no good, you will never work again, go ahead and use again its your only way out” DONT LISTEN to it!! Please. As long as you stay clean and turn your life over to your higher power, things WILL get better!!