I'm a new RN and I work in an inpatient oncology center. Part of the nature of my work is that I see a patient in the obituaries that I've cared for several times a week. I feel like we try to make it the best experience possible towards the end of life at our hospital. How do I get closure personally?
Sarah
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April 24th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
That is a tough situation. If you are a religious person I suggest you contact your spiritual leader. If you have Hospice in your area you might find some ways of coping through their training classes. Most people find prayer and mediation very effective. I need to watch “Dr Zhivago” about every 5 years. So many of the lines are so poignant.
I also find great relief in music. Certain pieces can give me relief in the first moments of the music.
The strength I get from the few writings of Mother Teresa is amazing:
*********
People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.
*******
If all else fails go someplace and watch something being born.
Oh yes, …
It is really OK to cry.
April 24th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
As bulldog jack says it is okay to cry and it is also okay to cry with the family. Another thing you can do is go to the funeral. That maybe one way to get closure. You may want to form a nurse support group in your unit where you can get together with some of your nursing friends and lean on each other. You could maybe get someone from your religon to participate in the group.
July 31st, 2008 at 7:34 am
If you have had enough experiences with this patient to have some fun/fond memories- perhaps their sense of humor, their courage, stories about their family they share- it is nice to write a note to the family sharing that information. “I loved your dad’s smile and sense of humor…no matter how bad the news he always teased me…etc. etc.”
I agree- it’s ok to cry. It’s even sometimes ok to let them know you have had a loss- as long as you keep the focus on them, not you.