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Reality Unscripted
The Other Nurses Resent Me


So much of whether you like your job connects back to your relationships with colleagues at work.

A new nurse recently wrote, "I tend to spend a lot of time addressing patients’ emotional needs prior to their operations (calming them, answering questions, or just being with them during the transition). I find other nurses resent me for not spending more time prepping in the operating room.

"How do I meet my patients’ emotional needs without feeling like I’m letting my co-nurses down? Should I spend more time prepping with the other nurses (who have it under control), or should I continue to make my patient my primary concern?"

My first thought is the obvious: the day you stop making the patient your primary concern is the day you need to find another profession. But how should she approach the issue with the other nurses? How would you advise her?

Jana Goetz

Managing Editor

RealityRN


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6 Responses to “The Other Nurses Resent Me”

  1. Pam Says:

    I’ve experienced the same thing …I went into nursing to help people but I feel the older nurses think I’m wasting time “with the patient.” Sometimes I wonder why I’m in this profession.

    Guess I need to confront the issue.

  2. Melissa Granger Says:

    The patient is always the number one priority, but that is a hard thing to deal with. Try to compromise by spending just a little more time than usual prepping the OR.

  3. sandieO Says:

    I am suprised that this person has come accross this with the older nurses.I would have expected it from the new nurses because they have a different ethos.Nursing in our new society is a buisness and in the older style the nurses were able to spend more time caring.

  4. jana Says:

    Maybe it has more to do with the nurses personality than how long they’ve been in the profession. If that’s the case, maybe the “other nurses” are more suited for prep than meeting the patients emotional needs anyway. They may even be glad to have someone on the team that’s willing to deal with the interpersonal stuff.

    What do you think about bringing the subject up with her co-workers?

  5. Linda Aitken Says:

    I think there is a balance to be met and this is where team nursing comes into play. The new nurse needs to become familiar with the instruments and procedures and needs to spend time preparint in the theatre if she is going to asist with procedures. If she is just with the patient she is not learning how to prepare for the operation. Team nursing is important and may be the older nurses should share the patient caring responsibility and turns be taken in different nursing roles that are performed in the operating suite.

  6. Katja Says:

    I feel the above answer is a wise one! There IS a way to do fulfill both necessary roles – caring for a patient’s emotional needs and carrying out the necessary preparational tasks.
    Also, I like the idea of the nurses sharing the different roles in the operating suite. Sometimes I find that when seeing another person repeatedly “rock” at something (like comforting the patient), it can be challenging to assimilate it as your own role if you feel defensive or inadequate.
    Perhaps it is also like the Mary/Martha story in the Bible, where Martha spent all of her energies on the preparatory tasks and resented Jesus’s approval of Mary, who spent her time listening to Jesus out of love and compassion (when there were clearly “things to get done” in the house).
    Everyone should get the chance to love a little bit more like Mary, and Mary could perhaps spend some time sharing the burden of seemingly menial, but necessary, tasks with Martha. If somehow both roles in the operating room could be shared between the nurses, the concept of people defending different “sides” would be lessened, because both sides would be seen as compatible and inseparable.

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