Nurses need to put a lid on the gossiping: “Did you hear what so-and-so said at happy hour?” “Did you see what she did at that party?” “Did you see those pictures of so-and-so wasted?” “Did you see what happened between that nurse and doctor?” It all might seem like harmless chit-chat, but there’s always a real person at the other end of the nasty nattering who probably doesn’t like it.
Honestly, would you want people to secretly discuss your character, choices, and preferences (most likely, in an unkind way)?
I know that when you’re a new nurse you want to belong. And often the only chance to make friends is by engaging in the gossip—or at least sitting around and listening to what’s being said. But you can unwittingly get sucked into the cycle, and you might find you are the one getting burned. Or, the worst scenario, you might ruin someone’s reputation.
That happened to me. I’ve had new grads say to me, “I can’t believe you’re so nice, because I heard so many bad things about you! Now that I’ve gotten to know you it’s not true. I don’t know why they would say these things about you.” I’m conscientious about what I say at work, and still I was maligned.
Besides the pain it causes in people’s lives, it’s childish, demoralizing, and embarrassing. Simply: Gossip makes us look unprofessional. It doesn’t matter whether I choose to participate or not, I’m still a nurse working alongside other nurses who are acting unprofessional. It’s difficult to embrace nurses as professionals (even if you have a bachelor’s degree) because, as a whole, we’re not acting professionally.
I want to see an end to it. Walk away from the conversation. Stand up for the person who’s being talked about. Be constructive. Talk about something positive. It’s not so difficult, really, and I bet you’ll enjoy your work environment more!
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November 19th, 2007 at 5:56 am
This is so true. I am a second year nurse and I have heard eben the nicest nurses engage in gossip or say derogatory things about other nurses and patients in front of me, or worse in front of other patients! It makes me scared to ever be a patient in a hospital. Nurses are professionals for goodness sake, you all work together in a high pressure job, if you have a problem with someone sort it out. Gossip is malicious and only belittles your own character. The other person probably turns right around and gossips about you to someone else! I find it really disappointing in the healthcare setting, especially amongst nurses. We should support and advocate for eachother, not backstab. Negativity gives us nothing.
December 7th, 2007 at 12:46 am
oh absolutely! I’m a nurse nurse and there seems to be this huge tension between day shift and night shift. They talk badly about each other constantly. I’m stuck right in the middle because I’m rotating right now. Both sides seem to encourage me to gravitate towards them. It’s sad. I pray to have better character than to stoop down to their level.
February 27th, 2008 at 3:09 am
I have a personal phillosopy of – say what ever you want behind my back, just be nice to my face.
I have usually found that when people gossip about me it usually makes me look good and the person gossiping about me look bad.
I am abnormally polite, helpful and ethical which sometimes rubs initially rubs people the wrong way because by always doing my job the to the best of my abilities (even when having a bad day) I make lazy, nasty and indifferent people look bad (or feel bad when they compare their behaviour to mine).
However I have consistantly found that when one of these people gossips about me the person they are talking to is someone I have helped out and this always makes the person hearing the gossip think less of the gossiper and more highly of me.
I find that eventually those who hated me because of my high standards of personal behaviour when they first started working with me, frequently become my strongest advocates and defenders. This is facilitated by the fact that they never have to actually apologise for saying bad things about me, because as I never confront them about their gossiping, I can pretend to be unaware of their previous bad behaviour – despite having heard all about it from whoever they were gossiping too.
I find that by ensuring that I provide the best example of the behaviour I would like them to emulate and letting them see the enormous benefits I gain from being polite, ethical and contientious is the most effective way of changing their behaviour.