Speaking of names, I once worked with a pretty, nice, and shy Jamaican nurse named, Yata. She was working on our floor for just that one day to help us out, so not everyone knew of her (yet). Her name was written on the board for everyone to see. This other nurse was looking for the nurse who was taking care of this patient and [...]

Another time, we had a French Doctor with the last name spelled, Foq, where the Q is silent. The Uniclerk/UnitSecretary on duty was new from Jamaica and kept mispronouncing it Dr. Fuck. She kept yelling, “Anyone page Dr. Fuck? Dr. Fuck is on the phone.” What made it worse was because no one answered, the more she kept saying it louder and repeatedly. I could [...]

I just found out from overhead in the hospital that we have a doctor with the name spelled, Sus. They just paged Dr. Sus. To those who grew up with reading Dr. Seuss, this is funny.

My co-worker was busy one day so I helped check in a new patient in one of her rooms… first as I begin to dig through his medication bag from home, a roach crawls out and I freak out!!! I’m hovering underneath a metal table hiding from this roach–but I’m not at all concerned what the patient thinks, because he is blind and has no [...]

As I entered the ER one evening to get report, my coworker asks if I saw my friend in the ER earlier.  As I replied no, he motions for me to come look at the xray my ‘friend’ was in. It was a pic of a 14 inch dildo inside a person! Turns out, this man and his boyfriend got a lil too carried away [...]

After entering one of my elderly patients’ rooms, the patient said, “Oh, nurse, I need go to the bathroom!” She was too weak to walk to the bathroom, so I quickly left the room to get a bedside commode. I went to the clean utility room and, of course, the only commode was at the back of the room behind tons of other equipment. I [...]

If you’ve ever been to an ER, most likely the first healthcare person you saw was a triage nurse. I have the sometimes unfortunate luck of being this person. Not that all the people I meet are unpleasant, I actually feel like I’m helping some people. But for the most part it often seems like a stage for a drama. You see if I walk [...]

I am a nurse’s technician/aide/assistant. I went into my patient’s room and had to wake her up in order to ask her if she had peed or pooped at all yet and to check on her surgical drains. She looked like she was knocked out and I couldn’t wake her. When I finally woke her up, the first thing she said was, “Where’s my sleeping [...]

I had a patient who had a wife that was very outspoken. The patient had been in the hospital for a while and had a lot going on, one of them being a Foley catheter. Me and another nurse were getting the patient situated in bed and he was “exposed”. His wife said to him in front of the two of us “God, you’re gonna [...]

I had a lady in the nursing home with a trach and a real sense of humor. One day I transferred her to the shower chair, wheeled her in and turned around to get her toiletries. When I turned back around there was the biggest pile of poop that I have ever seen on the shower floor. I looked up at her sitting there with [...]